The Appreciator Method
Four steps for making appreciation a daily leadership discipline — not a once-a-year gesture or a vague organizational value.
Why Leadership Needs a Framework for Appreciation
Most leaders value appreciation in theory. Few have a practice for it. The Appreciator Method closes that gap — a repeatable, learnable sequence that turns appreciation from an impulse into a skill.
It's not about being positive all the time, or avoiding hard conversations. It's about ensuring that what's working receives the same rigorous attention as what isn't — and building cultures where people know their contributions actually land.
The four steps are designed to work together as a cycle, but each can be practiced independently. Start anywhere.
"When people feel genuinely seen and valued for what they bring, they bring more of it. When they feel constantly evaluated on what they lack, they focus on not failing — which is a very different, and much less creative, mode of engagement."
The Method in Detail
Slow Down to See What's Working
Noticing is harder than it sounds. Under pressure, our attention naturally narrows to problems. The first step of the Appreciator Method is a deliberate act of attention expansion — choosing to also see what's excellent, functional, and worthy of amplification.
Noticing isn't passive. It requires showing up to situations with dual awareness: tracking what needs attention and what deserves recognition. A meeting isn't just a problem-solving session; it's also a live demonstration of how your team thinks, collaborates, and communicates.
In your next three meetings, keep a small notebook open. Each time you observe something that works — a good question, graceful handling of disagreement, a creative idea — write it down. Don't filter. Don't evaluate. Just notice.
Give Precise Language to What You Observed
Naming is where most leaders shortcut the process. "Good job" is not a name; it's a filler. What specifically happened? What was the behavior? What strength does it reflect?
Precise naming serves two purposes. First, it makes the feedback usable — the person can recognize themselves in it and repeat the behavior consciously. Second, it builds a shared vocabulary on your team for what excellent work looks and feels like.
The most useful names combine the behavior and the underlying capability: "The way you held your ground without triggering defensiveness — that's intellectual humility under pressure. That's a specific skill."
For each item from your Notice list, write one sentence that names what you observed — specifically and behaviorally. Aim for enough precision that the person could recognize themselves in it.
Share the Story Behind What You Noticed
A name without a story is a label. A story creates meaning, and meaning is what changes culture. When you narrate what you've noticed — setting the context, describing what happened, explaining why it mattered — you do something a simple "thank you" cannot.
You make the contribution real. You connect the individual to the collective. You signal, concretely, what this team values and how it wants to operate.
Narration can be brief. Three sentences in a 1:1 can be more powerful than a full-length written review — if those three sentences tell the actual story of what you observed.
Choose one item from your Name list and draft a three-sentence story. Setup (what was the situation), turn (what did the person do specifically), landing (what did it make possible or change).
Point Forward From What You've Appreciated
The Nudge transforms appreciation from a backward-looking act into a forward-moving one. It answers the implicit question: "So what?" It connects recognition to development and direction.
A nudge is a gentle invitation, not a directive: "Because you do X so well, I'd love to see you bring it to Y." Or: "What you demonstrated in this situation makes me think you're ready for..."
This forward-pointing gesture is what separates the Appreciator Method from simple positive feedback. It's not enough to celebrate what's excellent. The move is to amplify it — to create more of it, in more places, at higher levels.
For each story you drafted, add one forward sentence: "Because of this, I'd like to see you..." or "I think this strength means you're ready for..." Keep it specific and growth-oriented.
Putting It Into Practice
The Appreciator Method works best as a weekly practice, not an occasional one. Here's a simple rhythm:
- Monday: Set your Notice intention — who or what will you pay specific attention to this week?
- Throughout the week: Capture observations as they happen. Brief notes are enough.
- Thursday or Friday: Name and draft. For the most significant observation, draft a 3-sentence narrative.
- End of week: Deliver. Share the story — in a 1:1, a team meeting, a Slack message, a handwritten note.
The full cycle takes 15 minutes of intentional effort per week. The returns — in team engagement, culture, and your own leadership — compound over time.
Want to Build This Into Your Leadership?
The Appreciator Method is the foundation of our workshops and retreats. Bring it to your team in a half-day session or an immersive retreat format.